Today was quite good, actually.

My class actually had a decent discussion about the poems they were supposed to read. Oh, you should have seen their faces when I told them I was giving them a quiz. Priceless! Absolutely precious. I wish I had brought my camera. So there I sat (I sat today…standing behind that stand-thingy makes me so nervous) having to restrain myself from cackling, enjoying the giving of my very first quiz ever and the reactions it brought. My violin teacher told me yesterday that I was sadistic. I think she’s right; although she said she meant I was sadistic towards myself, I think I might be just all-around-good-naturedly mean, sometimes. And you want to know something interesting? I rather enjoy it.

I mean, I never do anything to really hurt people, don’t get me wrong. I’m not like that. One patron from the place I work at when I’m at home once called me mean because I wouldn’t sell him a $1.50 beverage to him for only $1, which was all he had.

“You’re mean!” he said.

I answered, “I know, isn’t it awful?”

and smiled.

Yes, today has been a good day, but I’m sitting here, listening to Moon River  over and over again, just waiting for someone to ask me to please choose another song to play, even though that won’t ever happen, and I feel just a little melancholy. I’m not sure why; it’s just this nighttime solemness that comes over me from time to time once the sun goes down.

There are dead purple daisies in my window, left over from Jess’ birthday bouquet. I really should throw them out; I’ll do it tomorrow.

Someone just turned on music really loud…I can feel the bass vibrating the floor. Time to turn up the Sinatra.

I get so restless. You know? That’s why I don’t think I could ever get married. I stay in one place or situation, and it’s as if I’m being caged, and I feel as if I must get out. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not. I haven’t been out of the country in more than a year, and I’m starting to feel the travelling itch. This semester is almost over and I can taste it, and its driving me crazy. I think I could stay if I had new classes…but this same thing every day, day in, day out…gives me the same confined feeling that wearing the same thing everyday does.

I think the song is playing for the sixth or seventh time now.

Seriously–I sleep better if I spray bodyspray or perfume around my bed; it makes me feel like I’m in a new place, a different house or something of the sort.

But anyways, enough of this. I have math homework to finish.


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