God is real; if you were ever wondering, now you know. He is real. Don’t ever doubt it.
I was at a meeting of YLA, the Youth Leader’s Association, just in case you haven’t read Saturday’s blog and don’t know what I mean by YLA. Our speaker didn’t show up, and so after praise and worship Kendall (our president) led us in prayer one last time before we were dismissed. I asked for prayer for my sister; I always do now, she’s on my mind so often. I feel like this semester I’ve been so distracted; I’ve not focused on God at all, hardly. ‘ve been much too consumed with myself. And therefore, I fear I’ve missed several chances I may have had to help Aimee, to talk to her, to change her mind. If they were there, I completely squandered those precious moments. What a fool I am.
They prayed for me tonight, not only for me but for my sister, and my family; for forgiveness and healing. I had to get some things worked out between Him and I. I still have things to work out; and I probably always will. But see, the thing is, I haven’t been trying at all. I need to change that.
As I was praying, I asked for His forgiveness…for His mercy, for Him not to give up on me, for Him not to give up on my sister. I asked Him to make Himself real to me again…
As I went to the bathroom to wipe my face and my hands–because I had cried and therefore had snot all over my face–I kept thinking of this song I sort of half-wrote last year. I say half-wrote because it’s not exactly finished, and it’s not very good. Then, I realized it sounded alot like La Valse D’Amelie, a little. So the waltz kept going round and round in my head; as I was saying goodbye to the club members that had kindly waited until I had finished crying and praying, I decided to go to the music building to try and play the song…the one I wrote or the one from Amelie, I’m not sure which. As I walked there the thought kept occurring to me that I had tried to play it before, and didn’t really get anywhere–nowhere, actually, and I reasoned with myself that I would probably try and fail, and then be depressed for the rest of the evening. Although it did make alot of sense in my head, and I rather agreed, for some reason I decided to go on and try anyways.
Oh, dear reader.
I sat down, and even in the correct key, played La Valse D’Amelie nearly exactly as it is on my cd. I mean, I’m speechless. I can’t quite figure it out; I’ve never been able to just sit down and play a song that I’ve only heard that close to its original version so quickly. I’ve played songs by ear before, but the least it’s ever taken me to figure it out was a few hours. I was only in there for maybe ten minutes–I don’t kow how I did it. I know it wasn’t me. Everything I have, every talent I possess, comes from God. Without Him I’m nothing.
Well, that’s my very good news for the night, or day…or week. Who knows? Tomorrow I have a math test and a quiz in New Testament, and at two o’clock Eastern Time I’ll be going home. Praise God. I’m about to lose my mind here.