a year ago, today

Dear Remy,

A year ago, today, I had a doctor’s appointment. It was a scary day for me, because I’d never been to a baby doctor before without getting bad news. 

But guess what? We got good news. In fact, we got great news. You had a heartbeat. We saw it on the screen, flitting away, and your Daddy and I cried. Then you did a wiggle dance, and we laughed. You were holding your hands together, and the doctor took a picture for us. 


You were a teeny tiny little bean, and I decided to call you Beetle-Bug until I knew which name you would have. That’s why I still call you that, sometimes, though I prefer Tatey-Bug just a little more. 

We went to a little sandwich shop to celebrate seeing you, then later that night we went to a football game, and we were so excited that we could finally tell everybody our good news. And people were happy with us, because they knew how very special and wanted you were.

I carried that little picture of you around with me everywhere, until you got a little bigger, and I got a better one. 🙂 

Today, you’re almost seven months old. You like jumping and sitting up and giggling at the cats. You still like to hold your hands together, sometimes. You’re learning to feed yourself fruits and veggies, though you’d really prefer to just have fruit. And all of a sudden you’ve developed a “poop face”. I know you’re going to kill me for saying so, but you have. And it’s hilarious. Someday I’ll get it on video, and you can see it. 

I love you bunches, Beetle-Bug. 





a year ago, today

One thought on “a year ago, today

  1. Oh son……I remember the day in reflection very well, or at least the time the three of us were together in the Dr.’s room.  Your mommy was trying to be as strong as she could be, but I could see desperation in her eyes.  When the moment came for us to “find you” on the screen, your wonderful mommy couldn’t help but start crying.  She braced herself for the worst, closed her eyes tight and didn’t want to look at the screen.Then all of a sudden the weight beyond all weights was not only removed from our hearts, but it was replaced with such rapture that I can hardly even speak of it.  Your calm, collective, stoic father became a blubbering mess.  We cried, no sobbed for joy. Your mom and I cried with each other with our mouths grinning from ear to ear.  You were alive and kicking!  The Lord heard our prayers son.  We opened our hearts to you that day with such power and love.Ephraim, your daddy feels as though he became a daddy at that moment.  Your mommy and I love you, and will love you forever.  We will fight for your body, soul, and spirit all of our days.  God entrusted us with you son.  It is a gift beyond treasure.  Yes……. I remember that day well.

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